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Marriage Susan Adams Licensed Marriage And Family TherapistMarriage Counseling | Couples Counselor | Couples Therapists | Marriage Counselors

Marriage

Marriage is a part of most Americans. Learning how to be married takes practice and acquired tools. I hope these articles help you and your partner.

What Does Couples Counseling Help With?

Are You Wondering If Couples Counseling Can Help Your Relationship?

Couples Counseling helps couples talk to each other in ways that promote couples to have conversations rather than arguments.

When couples seek a couples counselor it is like taking a course in HOW couples’ relationships work best.

The couples counselor should be married for a long time and living a lifestyle that couples clients want to emulate.

The couples counselor needs to be well versed in promoting couples to use specific tools for connecting to each other.

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Do Couples Therapists Ever Suggest Divorce?

People call me to ask for help to save or improve their marriages. That, then is my job.

I am teaching people HOW to make it work, not how to throw in the towel.

If couples have no children and things aren’t going well, they can declare a fender bender and move on and out of the marriage. However, if there are children, they must think about the children first.

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Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling

How Do People Know If They Need Marriage Counseling?

Most importantly, when there are problems that you can’t resolve.

One member of a couple often calls me to say, “we fight all the time”.  That is a sure signs that the couple is trying to win at something rather than negotiating an outcome. They don’t seem to know how to have the conversation rather than have the fight. They need help to learn new strategies.

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How Does Change In Couples Happen?

People call me all the time to ask what to do about their partner— “how can I make Him or Her change?  Of course, no one can make someone else change. We can only change  ourselves. However, if we change something about ourselves it changes everything.  To effect change in a partner, we must change ourselves!

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How Does Marriage Counseling Help Communication?

Traditional psychology has believed since time began that problems exist within individuals. This DSM descriptions of mental problems is built on this theory.

However, with the rise of the « Systems » movement which began in the early 50’s., problems are more popularly seen as existing BETWEEN people or in relationships rather than within individuals.

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Why Are Men So Sensitive To Female Anger?

Women ask me all the time,”why does my husband get so defensive when I get mad at him?”

To begin with, I don’t find anger to be a very useful emotion to be used with anyone. Possibly at times with strangers to get their attention but anger is scary for people and when you sound angry the real message gets lost.

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What Makes Marriage Work?

People ask me all the time, “What makes marriage work?” What if I stop loving him/her?

What clearly does NOT make marriage work is believing that one must be in love all the time to make the marriage work. People who believe that love is the key ingredient are romantics, They are in love with love and the minute that they don’t detect the “love” feeling they believe it is time to go–and they do.

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How To Select The Best Marriage Counselor

Good marriage counseling is about teaching couples how to negotiate in order to accomplish getting their needs met.  Teaching good skills for marriage is not about what is right or wrong but about what works!

Marriage Counseling Should Be Balanced!

I have been married for 41 years (that means I was two when I started). I have a live laboratory in my home for knowing what works and what doesn’t. I am always thinking about how to pass along effective means of interacting. The best marriage counseling teaches couples how to talk to each other constructively . The couples therapist is the model for this. The therapy must be what I call ”clean”.  That means the therapy needs to demonstrate the skills the therapist is teaching.  For example listening with respect means that the therapist does so as well. Hearing what is asked needs to be part of the couples therapy as well. Continue reading

The Safety of Expression-An Exercise for Dating Couples

 Headed Toward Marriage or for the Married Who want to Enhance Their Relationship

The objective of this article is to provide an activity for couples–both those thinking of marriage, and those who already are married who want to enhance their relationship to do so in the arena of improving the emotional climate around the safety of expression.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed. Continue reading

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