Marriage
Marriage is a part of most Americans. Learning how to be married takes practice and acquired tools. I hope these articles help you and your partner.
Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling
How Do People Know If They Need Marriage Counseling?
Most importantly, when there are problems that you can’t resolve.
One member of a couple often calls me to say, “we fight all the time”. That is a sure signs that the couple is trying to win at something rather than negotiating an outcome. They don’t seem to know how to have the conversation rather than have the fight. They need help to learn new strategies.
How Does Change In Couples Happen?
People call me all the time to ask what to do about their partner— “how can I make Him or Her change? Of course, no one can make someone else change. We can only change ourselves. However, if we change something about ourselves it changes everything. To effect change in a partner, we must change ourselves!
How Does Marriage Counseling Help Communication?
Traditional psychology has believed since time began that problems exist within individuals. This DSM descriptions of mental problems is built on this theory.
However, with the rise of the « Systems » movement which began in the early 50’s., problems are more popularly seen as existing BETWEEN people or in relationships rather than within individuals.
What Are The Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling?
You know that you need marriage counseling when the fighting continues with no resolution. When one or both partners criticize, or one or both parties withdraw into silence, thus stopping the conversation. Continue reading
Why Are Men So Sensitive To Female Anger?
Women ask me all the time,”why does my husband get so defensive when I get mad at him?”
To begin with, I don’t find anger to be a very useful emotion to be used with anyone. Possibly at times with strangers to get their attention but anger is scary for people and when you sound angry the real message gets lost.
What Makes Marriage Work?
People ask me all the time, “What makes marriage work?” What if I stop loving him/her?
What clearly does NOT make marriage work is believing that one must be in love all the time to make the marriage work. People who believe that love is the key ingredient are romantics, They are in love with love and the minute that they don’t detect the “love” feeling they believe it is time to go–and they do.
How To Select The Best Marriage Counselor
Good marriage counseling is about teaching couples how to negotiate in order to accomplish getting their needs met. Teaching good skills for marriage is not about what is right or wrong but about what works!
Marriage Counseling Should Be Balanced!
I have been married for 41 years (that means I was two when I started). I have a live laboratory in my home for knowing what works and what doesn’t. I am always thinking about how to pass along effective means of interacting. The best marriage counseling teaches couples how to talk to each other constructively . The couples therapist is the model for this. The therapy must be what I call ”clean”. That means the therapy needs to demonstrate the skills the therapist is teaching. For example listening with respect means that the therapist does so as well. Hearing what is asked needs to be part of the couples therapy as well. Continue reading
The Practical Marital Quiz
Practical Marital Quiz
- There is the Right person out there for everyone.
(no-marriage is based on a skill set between two people. Arranged marriages work well when the partners practice the skills of good marriages.)
- There is the Right person out there for everyone.
An After Effect of Sexual or Physical Abuse
The objective of this article is to help those who have experienced some kind of physical or sexual abuse to use some concrete tools for speaking up for themselves.
By: Susan Adams M.Ed.
An After Effect of Sexual or Physical Abuse
Many people who have experienced some form of child sexual or physical abuse have learned that it is dangerous to speak up for what they want. Continue reading
When A Spouse Dies
This article is designed to aid readers who have lost a spouse to understand better what they are experiencing and how to handle the issues that may arise.
By: Susan Adams M.Ed. Continue reading
