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How Does Marriage Counseling Help Communication?

Traditional psychology has believed since time began that problems exist within individuals. This DSM descriptions of mental problems is built on this theory.

However, with the rise of the « Systems » movement which began in the early 50’s., problems are more popularly seen as existing BETWEEN people or in relationships rather than within individuals.

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Why Are Men So Sensitive To Female Anger?

Women ask me all the time,”why does my husband get so defensive when I get mad at him?”

To begin with, I don’t find anger to be a very useful emotion to be used with anyone. Possibly at times with strangers to get their attention but anger is scary for people and when you sound angry the real message gets lost.

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Universal Truths

I have developed my Universal Truths over my 33 years of practice. See which ones you are using!

By: Susan Adams M.Ed.

  1. Universal Truths By: Susan AdamsThe world is unfair but predictable.  Success means being aware of how things appear to others.
  2. Even if you feel so unimportant you think you are invisible, others notice you.
  3. People who don’t know when they do wrong, can’t learn to do anything right.
  4. People who know when they do something wrong develop mastery. Continue reading

Anger in Infidelity – But Don’t I Have a Right to My Anger?

Recently a woman contacted me about her husband’s infidelity. They had been doing prior work with a female therapist who encouraged her anger. She told the husband that his wife was understandably angry and he must be patient as she spewed it out.

Frankly, I found this to be very bad advice. Apparently, the couple did as well and fortunately left this experience. I have found over the years that people usually know when an experience is working badly and they leave it. Continue reading

Relationship Problems And What Do You Do?

People call me all the time asking me, “where are you located” or even first, “how much do you charge?”

Both questions are important. However, the MOST important question often isn’t asked which is “how can you help me”?

The first two questions imply that all therapy is the same and all therapists are the same. This could not be further from the truth.

There are many people in all kinds of professions who use buzz words to describe what they do while, in fact, not doing that manner of work at all.

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