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Grandparents in Stepfamilies
It is often the case that grandparents are afraid for
their children to remarry. They want their happiness but fear the
loss of their grandchildren through remarriage.
As the stepparent, there are some things that you can
do that will calm things down.
l. Arrange times that grandparents and grandchildren
can do things together as they did before the remarriage.
2. Arrange times for stepgrandparents and
stepgrandchildren to get to know one another. Start out with short
visits and a small treat.
3. Arrange times for all the children or a "mix" of
step-siblings to be with grandparents/stepgrandparents once everyone
has begun to get acquainted.
4. Include your parents in some of your new family's
special events.
5. At times, include your spouse and our parents in
adult activities that everyone might enjoy.
6. When it is possible, make opportunities for the
two sets of "in-laws" to get together.
7. If there are things to be inherited which you
believe that your parents want to go to particular family member,
talk to your parents abut that and make the necessary legal
arrangements.
8. Don't push your parents to make financial
decisions about inheritance issues regarding your new family. These
matters take time to work out as relationships develop.
Grandparents often feel strongly about "blood"
relationships--particularly with heirlooms in the family.
9. Be aware that the children's grandparents, just
like everyone else, need time to adjust to the new personalities in
the household. If a disconnect occurs between grandparent and their
own child, be sure to leave the door open so that wounds can heal.
l0. As with other matters, share grandparent
concerns with your spouse so that you can be a team and support each
other.
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