Marriage

Marriage is a part of most Americans. Learning how to be married takes practice and acquired tools. I hope these articles help you and your partner.

What Makes Marriage Work?

People ask me all the time, “What makes marriage work?” What if I stop loving him/her?

What clearly does NOT make marriage work is believing that one must be in love all the time to make the marriage work. People who believe that love is the key ingredient are romantics, They are in love with love and the minute that they don’t detect the “love” feeling they believe it is time to go–and they do.

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How To Select The Best Marriage Counselor

Good marriage counseling is about teaching couples how to negotiate in order to accomplish getting their needs met.  Teaching good skills for marriage is not about what is right or wrong but about what works!

Marriage Counseling Should Be Balanced!

I have been married for 41 years (that means I was two when I started). I have a live laboratory in my home for knowing what works and what doesn’t. I am always thinking about how to pass along effective means of interacting. The best marriage counseling teaches couples how to talk to each other constructively . The couples therapist is the model for this. The therapy must be what I call ”clean”.  That means the therapy needs to demonstrate the skills the therapist is teaching.  For example listening with respect means that the therapist does so as well. Hearing what is asked needs to be part of the couples therapy as well. Continue reading

The Safety of Expression-An Exercise for Dating Couples

 Headed Toward Marriage or for the Married Who want to Enhance Their Relationship

The objective of this article is to provide an activity for couples–both those thinking of marriage, and those who already are married who want to enhance their relationship to do so in the arena of improving the emotional climate around the safety of expression.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed. Continue reading

Building Trust for Dating Couples Planning Marriage

The objective of this article is to provide an exercise for couples – dating or married – for assessing trust that exists and building trust.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed

Building Trust for dating Couples Planning Marriage 
(or those who are married)

Summary: We all carry different levels of trust based on our prior experiences. Continue reading

Achieving Good Sexual Communication

The objective of this article is to help couples achieve a satisfying sexual relationship.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed

Achieving Good Sexual Communication

Summary: A mutually satisfying sexual relationship can be a lifetime of joy for a couple. However, it doesn’t happen magically–any more than verbal communication does. This article presents a discussion of how to develop good sexual communication, beginning in the courtship. Continue reading

Skills of Understanding and Being Understood in Relationships

The objective of this article is to help dating couples understand how to make connections with each other in order to make long lasting relationships.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed.

Skills of Understanding and Being Understood in Relationships

Summary: The first issue in building communication that works in your relationship is understanding its importance to having intimacy. Continue reading

Why Some People Fail to Make Emotional Contact in Dating

The objective of this article is to help people who fail to make emotional contact with others understand why that might be.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed.

Why Some People Fail to Make Emotional Contact in Dating

Summary: Real communication is important but can be difficult to master. This is why, without it, some people circle the dating world forever without ever getting connected to anyone. Continue reading

Counseling Thoughts for Premarital Couples/Danger Signs in Dating

The objective of this article is to help dating couples who are thinking of marriage to identify some common danger signs in the relationship and to provide some guidance for treatment.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed.

Counseling Thoughts for Premarital Couples/Danger Signs in Dating

Summary: Premarital counseling is a good emotional checkup and a wise investment as it increases the odds for a successful marriage. Continue reading

The Art of Feeling Married

The objective of this article is to point out some of the pitfalls involved in the breakup of marriages.

By: Susan Adams M.Ed.

The Art of Feeling Married

Summary: Back several generations the most important value in marriage was staying together. Continue reading

Special Concerns for Dating Couples Approaching Marriage

The objective of this article is to outline the issues that create the most anxiety in couples considering marriage.

By: Susan Adams, M. Ed.

Special Concerns for Dating Couples Approaching Marriage

Summary: What are the subjects on which communication is especially difficult for couples approaching marriage? There are several that can present major problems. Continue reading