Many people believe that there is no return from infidelity but I do not find this to be the case. Many people also believe that infidelity is the fault of the partner who was cheated upon and the fault of a bad marriage. This is not at all my experience.
Recently a woman contacted me about her husband’s infidelity. They had been doing prior work with a female therapist who encouraged her anger. She told the husband that his wife was understandably angry and he must be patient as she spewed it out.
Frankly, I found this to be very bad advice. Apparently, the couple did as well and fortunately left this experience. I have found over the years that people usually know when an experience is working badly and they leave it. Continue reading
People call me all the time to ask me: “My husband/wife has been unfaithful. How can I stay in the relationship after such a betrayal? I can never trust my partner again.”
There is definitely a life after infidelity. According to Dr. Frank Pittman (with whom I worked closely for twenty eight years), “Men cheat when they don’t feel man enough.” He goes on to say in both Private Lies and Man Enough, that a man’s infidelity is between himself and his father.” How so, one might say. It is the fault of the marriage.